"But I'm The Victim!"

My new plan for committing murder, should I ever again encounter anybody in my life I really feel needs a good killin'....

1) Get a sex change operation.

2) Go on a bunch of those antidepressants that, for the most part, don't do you any good anyway.

3) Kill the bastard or bitch.

4) Get arrested.

5) Present my Pussy Pass to the judge and skate free.

The perfect murder. I'm thinking of an ex boss or two, an ex sister-in-law....

Finally, Somebody Is Calling Limousine Liberals To Accountability...

...and I'm more than a little surprised that it's the black church.

When you're in that Robert Redford income class, high auto fuel and home heating costs probably aren't that big a deal. $4.00 a gallon at the pump? Big deal, he spends more than that on wine and brie. Drilling could actually create jobs? But they're dirty, icky jobs he just doesn't find acceptable.

If you're poor--black or otherwise--it's a different story. About time somebody called limousine libs like him on it.

Attention Multiculturalists, Moral Relativists...

...and anybody who likes to smugly sit safely in Western Civilization and try to make an argument that there's no difference between Us and Them, that we commit or condone atrocities just as terrible as anybody we're currently fighting, that Israel's actions against Hamas or, indeed, our own actions in the Middle East have been completely unjustified. You may be interested in hearing that practitioners of Sharia law have decided to bring back a staple of that ol' time religion:

Crucifixion.

These are the people who would like to be running the world and have no inclination to cut any slack for anybody who stands in their way. These are the people who plan to take over, if not through outright violence then through simply outbreeding us.

Is that what you want?

OK, Everybody Who Thought Sarah Palin's Resume' Was Too Slim...

....I want you to land on Princess Caroline Kennedy with both feet. Now. Or be considered a fucking hypocrite forever.

Seriously. The woman got a law degree she's never used, edited some crap, sat on some boards for some useless northeastern lefty charities. That's it.

If you didn't attack Palin for supposedly being inexperienced you can leave out the back door. The rest of you...start in on Princess Caroline. Get crackin'.

Mary Graber says it better than anyone. And Kathleen Parker can go fuck herself.

The Grinch Who At Least Wants Christmas Gift Giving To Make Sense...

Let me make sure I have this white elephant/gag gift thing straight.

With the white elephant I'm supposed to find something around my house I don't want anymore, take the time and trouble to wrap it and give it to somebody else...who will gift me with something equally worthless.

Call me crazy but when an object in my house falls into the "don't want it anymore" category I tend to either give it or sell it to somebody who does want it, or throw it away. It's always tough for me to come up with a gift in this category.

And then there's the always popular gag gift--where I'm supposed to take the time and money (both always at a premium) to go out and find a gift for somebody. A gift they actually don't want. And they'll do the same for me.

I don't care what the economy is doing. If Americans are actually still observing these traditions we have it far, far too easy.

A Scattershot Post On Guns, Part 1...

Talked about guns on this site every now and then, figure it's time to get into it a little more. The idea comes from the delightful Rightwing Sparkle, whose own decision to not become a victim I stumbled across over at Ace of Spades. I particularly loved this bit...

See what Obama has done? He has taken a pro-gun control Republican who never
liked guns at all and made me a gun owner, gun rights, and gun carrying anti-gun
control chick.

I'll bloviate on the entire phenomenon of the Magic Negro's election actually spurring gun sales tomorrow or the next day or when I feel like it--if I ever do. Tonight's post is more personal.

Growing up in the Ozarks I was surrounded by guns. My father kept a beat up old .22 rifle/410 gauge over-and-under long gun in his closet. Neither he nor I ever hunt deer but lots of people in my community did and still do (a nearby small town actually closes school during the first few days of regular rifle season). Guns were always around. During the mid '80s when I was in high school older students would drive to school with a rifle or shotgun in the gun rack in the back window of their trucks. The local FFA chapter had a gun safety and shooting course, kids (mostly, but not exclusively, boys) would walk around campus with rifles. The Brady Campaign would probably have a conniption, but those kids would no more think of firing those guns at another human being than they would think of flying to the moon.

I went to college, fell under the spell of the usual lefty professors. I followed the track of "if you're 20 and you're not a liberal you have no heart, but if you're 40 and you're still a liberal you have no brain." I become mildly, non-specifically in favor of gun control but mostly just spouted off some slogans and never gave it much thought.

As I got older I looked at things differently. I don't have much interest in deer hunting, no. Not because I'm afraid of killing Bambi but because getting up at 4 a.m. and going out to freeze my ass off in the woods isn't my idea of a good time. But some friends of mine--many part of my old D & D group--became interested in guns for other reasons. For self protection. For the sheer joy of target shooting and plinking. And out of the sheer, nasty, not-so-passive passive-aggressive joy of exercising a fundamental right that actually pisses of a lot of smug, arrogant socialists. You presume to tell me I can't have a gun? Fuck off, I'll go buy two just to annoy you!

Didn't buy a gun during my marriage, however. When you're married in general and married to a manic depressive alcoholic psycho particularly you to pick your battles, and this wasn't one of mine. Plus, we didn't have the money for most of our marriage. Finally--and this is a big one--the way my wife was the last year and a half or so of her life a gun was the LAST thing we needed in that apartment. I'm all for the idea that "ever law abiding man (or woman) should be armed," but I'd amend that to say "every law abiding sane man or woman."

But about six months after the wife assumed room temperature I began researching firearms, and not too long after I purchased my handgun--the Sig Sauer P229 (mine is the 9mm version, more rounded trigger guard than shown and no rail). Damn it was fun to shoot! You can feel the craftsmanship in it. Yeah, with my wife about six months dead it may have been a bit of "retail therapy"--buying something to distract myself from grief--but I've certainly never regretted it.

Next up--a shotgun, an FN 12 Guage pump action police shotgun (can't find a good picture on the internet, at least for the amount of time I'm willing to put into it). I like shooting skeet and because it's hard to miss at short range in an enclosed space a shotgun is in many ways your best bet for home defense. Plus, dear God, the type of ammo you can get for it! Tear gas, armor piercing, nonlethal, "piranha" ammo (shoots sharp little tacks, absolutely chews up anything in the blast path), FLAMETHROWER AMMO THAT SHOOTS OUT A HUGE FIREBALL....

OK, little too excited there, but I've changed my pants. Back to my ramble.

And then? Hey, if you're gonna go, go all out...a Bushmaster AR-15. Sure, why not? With all the rails, lights, scopes, slings and lasers you can put on it it's like a Barbie Dream House for adult men. Easy to shoot, light recoil yet strikes like the mailed fist of God.

And then...life got in the way. Really sucks when work and family and other obligations interfere with your hobbies, doesn't it? I bought a house, I started dating...I barely touched a gun for about two years.

Then came mid-September of this year, and it started to look like the Magic Negro might actually ascend to the Cherry Blossom Throne. As I say we'll concentrate on the subject of Obama and gun sales another time, but suffice it to say that the idea of a president with such a record of opposition to Second Amendment rights (and, worse yet, possibly a like minded filibuster-proof Senate) was disturbing. In October I took the long delayed step of getting my concealed carry permit. The class was informative and fun, so much so that I took the NRA Intermediate Pistol Course from the same instructor. I was determined to be both a safe gun handler and an accurate shot. Purchased this nice concealed carry coat from Sig Sauer and I was off to the races (I'll invest in a decent gun belt and inside the waistband holster next year). I have a cheap pawn shop nylon holster that I occasionally carry with a longer coat. Probably buy a smaller, lighter pistol next year as well--the 229 is great but it's heavy and a little large.

Nowadays I carry more days than not. In a small farming town with a comparitively non-existent crime rate. Why? Because I don't know that it'll always be so peaceful and crime free. Because the day you feel safest is often the day you'll die or be robbed. Because I want to die in bed as an old man, and I'd rather be judged by 12 than carried by six.

Because it's my right, and anybody who doesn't like it...from the President-Elect on down...can kiss my ass.

More on this in the near future...

In The Crosshairs...

If you're a rich guy, remember: You're always being targetted. You're always being evaluated. Your strengths, your weaknesses, always being assessed. You're being sought after, yes, but it's in the same way a 12 point buck is sought after about this time of year in the Ozarks. And once you're caught...well, the buck may get better treatment.

I've made no bones about the fact that I hope someday to be wealthy--or at least a lot more comfortable than I am now--but articles like the one above almost make me grateful for my comparitively modest income and bank account. Whatever interest my current or any past girlfriend (or even my late wife) may have or has had in me, it's hasn't been because of my money.

Of course men are equally capable of pursuing women for shallow reasons. But compared to the artifice, the deception, the twisted morality and shaky self-justification that golddiggers use in pursuing rich men, the boorish, juvenile, "as-long-as-my-face-is-around-you'll-always-have-a-place-to-sit" approach of your average frat rat to the hottest chick in the bar seems downright sincere.